Today you are two months old. I had hoped to write more posts this past month about you, yes, but also about the rest of my life. However, as much of my life is wrapped up with you, and spending time with you is more important than writing about it, well, we can see that the lack of posting is what ends up happening.
That's ok though, as you are growing and thriving and I love every second that I get to spend with you right now. While I wouldn't have chosen losing my job right before you were born, I have to say that having this time with you without a specific end date has actually been kind of amazing. I'll go back to work at some point, but we're going to enjoy each other in the meantime.
And wow have you changed this month! For one thing - you're smiling! And these are no gas smiles either, these are honest to goodness I'm smiling because I'm happy to see you smiles. Oh how I love seeing those! They truly light up your entire face and melt my heart at the same time. I have a feeling you're going to have that ability to melt my heart your entire life.
Speaking of heart melting, another new thing that you've started is that you cry actual tears now when you cry. Ohhh man, whenever I see that I just want to scoop you up and tell you that I'll never let anything hurt you. I know that I'm going to have to let you make your own mistakes and that you will get hurt in the future, but oh, it hurts me too baby. You probably won't ever know how much until you are older, but just know that every time you cry it really does hit me deep down.
You've also started cooing now - we have some pretty epic conversations during diaper changes now. On top of the cooing your facial expressions have continued to develop and deepen. The cooing usually comes complete with your turtle face. And you continue to have a most excellent grumpy face. Plus the furrowed brow that comes out along with that lower pouty lip - I love it! Grandma says that furrowed brow reminds her of Vena, a guide dog puppy we raised when I was younger. Ever since she said that I totally see it (and yes, I am comparing you to a yellow labrador retriever, but she was a really excellent puppy, so I hope you don't take offense).
We went on your first ferry ride the other day - Grandma was so excited to show you off to all of her colleagues! It was also your first time in a high school and your Grandma attempted to use you to let some of the high schoolers know that babies weren't a good idea until much older... of course you were so happy and smiley and cute that I don't think it had the same effect it would have if you were grumpy!
You don't seem impressed here, but you had fun, really!
You've also started chewing on your dad's thumb whenever he holds it near your mouth. That cracks me up as you usually don't like to chew on my fingers but oh how you love your dad's! I absolutely love seeing the two of you together! He does all of your night time diaper changes before bringing you back to me to nurse, and he starts your bedtime routine (he's so very excited to start reading to you before bed, too!). Watching you two together is so wonderful - B is such a fantastic dad and you've already got him wrapped around your finger.
I also feel like I'm hitting my stride a bit more this month. I know that I'll continue to have ups and downs as your mama, but we're doing pretty well right now. Your daytime naps are in your crib when we're at home, though you're still sleeping at night in the rock n' play next to my side of the bed (we tried the crib one night and you were not a fan). We're talking about trying to transition you to your crib (again) for night time sleep but I'm hesitating only because I do love being able to just glance over and see you at night. We won't talk about your night time sleep for fear of jinxing anything, but feel free to keep on doing what you're doing. Your mom and dad appreciate it.
And of course, this is your first March Madness! We made a bracket for you in the family pool that we've been doing with your great-uncle and so far, well, I hate to break it to you kid, but you didn't pick all that well (we marked your pick by noting which team got the bigger reaction from you - though we may have fudged it a bit when we weren't sure whether you really wanted that 16 over the 1... here's a hint baby girl - as close as a couple of the number 1's came this year, a number 1 has never lost to a 16. You don't want to make that pick!).
Tummy time during March Madness (this was actually during the Duke game and she totally looked like she was just kicking back on the couch, enjoying the game)
There are so many things that I want to say to you, but it's hard to find the words. I do want you to know how very loved you are, little girl, and what a huge part of my heart you hold with your little hands. Someone said that being a parent is to know what it's like to have your heart walking around outside your body, and oh how right they were. You have made me a mama and I am so very grateful that I get to be your mama.
I love you!