Wednesday, June 26, 2013

Five Months

My darling A -

You are five months old! I feel like it was only yesterday that we brought you home from the hospital, a little bit unsure what to do with this tiny little baby and now look at you! You've gotten so big on me. I swear you'll be heading off to college tomorrow. Your dad says I'm a little bit dramatic. My guess is that by the time you're reading these you'll know he's correct. And that you both will smile about that.

This month has been all about movement for you - rolling in particular. I love seeing how careful you are when you're first learning something and then all of a sudden, boom, it's like you've done it all your life. You're now rolling both from your back to your belly and your belly to your back. It was so much fun to watch you learn how to do it. You started off so tentatively and then as soon as you got the hang of it you were off and rolling all over the floor. Gone are the days when I can put you down and expect that you will remain in one spot. You usually stay near where I leave you, but you are certainly not still!

Along with this newfound rolling skill has come a newfound love of sleeping on your belly. You move around your crib a lot during the night, as you're either in pjs or a sleepsack, so that whenever I wake up and glance at the monitor you are in a different position. Whatever makes you happy and whatever makes it so that you will sleep! 

You're also sleeping with a lovey at night. The first (many) times I let you fall asleep with your lovey I would sneak in and take it away from you as I was too nervous to let you keep it. But soon enough we both decided that you do better with it than without. Now you usually fall asleep holding it and if you wake up during the night I'll see you reaching for it to comfort yourself as you fall back asleep. 

You also appear to have lengthened out your night sleeping again, for which your dad and I are very grateful. Occasionally you wake up in the middle of the night and need one of us, but more often you wake up around 5 or 6 for a snack and then I can usually get you to sleep for another hour or so. It's amazing how much happier we all are when we sleep!

You and Cody have an interesting relationship right now. As you've gotten older you've gotten much more interested in him, squealing when you see him and wanting to pet him. We're already teaching you how to be gentle with him, stressing that when we pet Cody we do so with an open hand, not grabbing at his fur. Your dad and I also make sure that Cody knows he's free to move away from you whenever you're bugging him. He still loves to lick your face but beyond that he's not always so sure. I'm pretty sure that once you start solids however, he'll be your best friend!

Did I mention that you're sitting up now too? You just started to be able to sit on your own (well, you can stay sitting when we put you into a seated position. You can't get there on your own yet. But you are learning how to get out of it back to your belly). You still tend to lead with your head though, with occasional face planting, but that's happened less often as you get stronger. I think you realize that the world looks different from up here, and it's more fun to see what's going on!

I have to note that that's a 12 month onesie. What. The. Heck. Granted it's Gerber which runs tiny, but still? My five month old can fit into twelve month clothing?? No way! Of course she also still fits in a pair of 0-3 month pants. So, yeah. Baby sizing is nuts.

We celebrated your first Father's Day with your dad and your granddad - it was a pretty low key day, but I think they both enjoyed getting big hugs and smiles from you. It's pretty special to see how much everyone loves you little girl. If there's one thing that I hope you never forget, it's how many people in this world love you and would do anything for you.

Along with rolling has also come the discovery that you can propel yourself to get things that are out of your reach. Right now you have a little airplane maneuver wherein every so often you lift your arms and legs and kind of wiggle them around. I'm not sure if you think that's what will get you moving forward or what, but it sure makes you smile when you do it. You aren't crawling yet but I'm pretty confident that that milestone isn't too far in the future. You're learning that you can move your legs up underneath you a bit and when you pull with your arms you might just get to that toy that's in front of you. You are pretty awesome at scooting around in circles now (almost always clockwise, too), but forward momentum is a bit harder. Your dad and I are discovering that we're going to have to start thinking about baby proofing the apartment... that should be fun!

And of course, we both survived our biggest milestone of all this month - our first night apart from each other. I went with some of my best friends to Whistler and you stayed with your dad. I had a wonderful time even though I missed you dearly and you did great with your dad. Sure there were some tears (from both of us), but as anxious as I was about leaving you, I'm actually glad that it happened when it did. I know that you're fine with others and I also know how big you smiled when I got home. Pretty good things to learn, I must say!

Right now you're still exclusively breastfed and I'm so happy that's worked out so well for us both. We're beginning to think about when we'll start solids with you - I was planning to wait until six months but you are so very interested in what we eat these days that I think you're getting ready. I'm so happy to see you growing and changing but dang, it goes so quickly! As long as some days occasionally feel, I'm learning the truth of what everyone told me - the time really does go so fast. 

I'm so glad that I've had so much time to spend with you, baby girl. I'm still looking for a job and I know that one day we won't be able to spend every day together. That makes me a bit sad but it also makes me excited that your horizons will continue to expand as you grow, meeting more people and learning new things.

But I'll always be here for you whenever you need me. That's what moms are for.

I love you so much little girl. To the moon and back.

Sunday, June 16, 2013

Happy Father's Day!

Happy Father's Day to the two most amazing dads I know.

To my husband - I have so enjoyed watching you become a dad these last five months. Our daughter is so incredibly lucky to have you as her dad and I love watching the bond that you two have grow every day.

To my dad - I love you so much. You were the best dad I could have ever asked for, and now watching you become a granddad has been so special. I'm so happy that we're close by so we get to see you so very often.

I love you both and wish you a very happy Father's Day!

Wednesday, June 12, 2013


I keep wondering how other people do it. How do they have time to blog? Or keep their house clean? Or shower every day? Especially those people with kids and full time jobs and hobbies and everything else...

In case you can't tell, I often feel like I have a time management problem. In that my problem is there often seems to be no time. Or there seems to be too much time. I feel like that's the weirdest dichotomy of my life right now - so often there is so much to do and no time in which to do it. And other times, like when A takes a randomly long nap, I don't quite know what to do with myself when I've actually managed to feel caught up on everything.*

I think that part of what I'm feeling also is that I don't know what to do with this space. I want to write about what's going on with my life, but right now my life is A. And also job hunting. But job hunting sucks and who really wants to read about that? But I'm also not sure how much people want to read about taking care of a baby. Even if she is the cutest baby in the world.**

But more than that, this feeling of confusion about what to do here sort of mimics what I'm feeling in my real life. I love (love love love) being home with A right now (which I honestly wasn't expecting! This has actually been really nice to learn). But I also love working outside the home. And bringing home an income. Especially with the amount of medical bills and law school loans that B and I have. Those aren't going to pay themselves (gee, wouldn't that be nice?). And while we are doing fine on B's salary, with all of those other expenses it's really hard to feel like we're making any real progress on our savings goals for the future.

So yeah. I'm still trying to figure it out. Not sure if anyone other than my mom and sister are still reading, but hopefully someday I'll figure out a bit better what I'm doing here...

And until then, here's the cutest baby in the world practicing sitting up! She sits now!!

Look Ma, no hands!

*Sidenote - Not that I EVER really feel caught up on everything. Just, uh, at some point you call it good.

**Sure, I'm clearly biased, but also she IS the cutest baby in the world.
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