Thursday, August 30, 2012

Voicing Opinions

You all know that I'm not a very controversial blogger. I don't post things simply for the sake of riling people up. The few times that I do write opinionated posts I try to write longer, researched posts to get my point across. And generally my topics tend to stick pretty close to issues that are important to me, like, ahem, women's rights and maternity leave most recently. This is mostly because I don't believe that anything I write here will change anyone's opinion. I write in order to explain where I'm coming from and why I believe the things I do, and perhaps open eyes to a different opinion, but ultimately I don't believe that I'm going to fundamentally change anyone else's beliefs with a blog post.

But I'm thinking I'm probably going to have a few more posts that some might see as controversial as I go through this whole pregnancy thing. Not because I actually think I'm doing or saying anything controversial. But because being pregnant is a huge part of my life right now and it seems like in the world of mom's and babies and blogs there's a whole lot of ways to stir up controversy. I should point out again that whatever I write here won't purposely be trying to do that, but rather I just want to talk about my views on the subject at hand. And that I hope people will take it in that vein (I'm pretty sure my handful of readers are awesome and will understand that. Just thought I should actually say it).

I bring all of this up because a friend wrote a great post yesterday on a few controversial topics and her thoughts on them. I loved it! I hope she expands on some of those topics as well. But on twitter she talked about being nervous to post it because of not knowing how people would react. As I said, I'm really glad she did hit publish because I think it's important to be able to talk openly (and respectfully) about our opinions plus I really like to hear about what others think as they go through a similar experience to me. It's nice to feel like I'm not the only one who's thinking about doing something. It also helps when I start feeling defensive about something I read online to ask myself why - usually it's because I don't feel very comfortable with my choice and it helps to think it through a bit more.

In particular, her point about loving pregnancy struck a chord with me. I find it interesting that saying that would be viewed as controversial, but it does seem like a lot of times we hear about how hard pregnancy is for a lot of women (either the getting pregnant part, or the terrible morning sickness, or whatever else it might be). I'm not sure I'd go so far as to say that I love being pregnant (I've had some body image issues that I've been working through, as well as some pretty normal aches and pains that will probably just get worse as I get bigger). But so far I have enjoyed the process. It's really cool to know that my body just knows how to do this! I made one conscious decision and then my body took over from there to grow this tiny new person (or alien as he/she has affectionately been called around these parts). I know that not everyone has that experience, so I'm really trying to pay attention during this time and to be grateful for what my body can do.

So out of curiosity, is there anything in particular that people are curious about? One of the other topics that Amy brought up was about how they saved for her maternity leave. Personally, I'm really hoping that she expounds on that as it's something that B and I are likely going to have to do as well (I haven't fully worked out the details of my leave yet, but I am anticipating that the best case is part of it will be paid, but we need to prepare for the worst case that none of it will be paid. Yeah, that's going to be fun to figure out).


  1. 1/3 of my maternity leave is going to be paid (so one month) and the rest of it will be unpaid. We did not save up a chunk of money to live off of during this time. We already live off of Bradley's income for all of our bills, and use my salary to aggressively pay down debt (small credit cards are almost gone, student loans, car, house). I'd rather be putting a dent in that as opposed to adding to our emergency fund at this point. It is already there, so I'm glad to have that if we need it, but don't plan on using it during my leave.

    We'll be taking a break on the debt reduction during my maternity leave and going back down to minimum payments...and then once my leave is over I will return to work and we'll continue on our debt payment plan. I also kind of want things to be a little tighter than usual during my maternity leave so that I have more incentive and am excited to return to work, because I know I will be really sad/angry/resentful that I can't stay home with the baby. This will give me something to look forward to when I return to work.

  2. I loved Amy's post and I'm so glad she was so honest. I don't think anything she said was offensive or bothersome! We all have different opinions and views and I think it's refreshing when bloggers/friends tell us how they feel. I think it's great that she's enjoyed pregnancy. I can't say I LOVED it but looking back, it was amazing. Most rewarding thing I've ever done and would do it again in a HEARTBEAT. It was tough but it wasn't all bad. :)

  3. Thanks for the shout-out, friend! And the great comments about my post. I will definitely expand on saving for maternity leave. I also plan to write more about birth plans too. ALSO: THIS WEEKEND I am writing that guest post for you on the Yahoo CEO maternity leave thing! I promise! Work has been the devil but we are going up north this weekend and I am planning to write a lot of posts in drafts during that time. So I will email you that early next week!

    And thanks for the nice comments too, Jessica! :)

  4. Yes! I also loved that post you referenced. We're all entitled to our opinions and should be allowed to discuss them freely. I always learn new things reading posts like that. I hope you do discuss all the pregnancy related stuff you're thinking about.


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