Thursday, August 30, 2012

Voicing Opinions

You all know that I'm not a very controversial blogger. I don't post things simply for the sake of riling people up. The few times that I do write opinionated posts I try to write longer, researched posts to get my point across. And generally my topics tend to stick pretty close to issues that are important to me, like, ahem, women's rights and maternity leave most recently. This is mostly because I don't believe that anything I write here will change anyone's opinion. I write in order to explain where I'm coming from and why I believe the things I do, and perhaps open eyes to a different opinion, but ultimately I don't believe that I'm going to fundamentally change anyone else's beliefs with a blog post.

But I'm thinking I'm probably going to have a few more posts that some might see as controversial as I go through this whole pregnancy thing. Not because I actually think I'm doing or saying anything controversial. But because being pregnant is a huge part of my life right now and it seems like in the world of mom's and babies and blogs there's a whole lot of ways to stir up controversy. I should point out again that whatever I write here won't purposely be trying to do that, but rather I just want to talk about my views on the subject at hand. And that I hope people will take it in that vein (I'm pretty sure my handful of readers are awesome and will understand that. Just thought I should actually say it).

I bring all of this up because a friend wrote a great post yesterday on a few controversial topics and her thoughts on them. I loved it! I hope she expands on some of those topics as well. But on twitter she talked about being nervous to post it because of not knowing how people would react. As I said, I'm really glad she did hit publish because I think it's important to be able to talk openly (and respectfully) about our opinions plus I really like to hear about what others think as they go through a similar experience to me. It's nice to feel like I'm not the only one who's thinking about doing something. It also helps when I start feeling defensive about something I read online to ask myself why - usually it's because I don't feel very comfortable with my choice and it helps to think it through a bit more.

In particular, her point about loving pregnancy struck a chord with me. I find it interesting that saying that would be viewed as controversial, but it does seem like a lot of times we hear about how hard pregnancy is for a lot of women (either the getting pregnant part, or the terrible morning sickness, or whatever else it might be). I'm not sure I'd go so far as to say that I love being pregnant (I've had some body image issues that I've been working through, as well as some pretty normal aches and pains that will probably just get worse as I get bigger). But so far I have enjoyed the process. It's really cool to know that my body just knows how to do this! I made one conscious decision and then my body took over from there to grow this tiny new person (or alien as he/she has affectionately been called around these parts). I know that not everyone has that experience, so I'm really trying to pay attention during this time and to be grateful for what my body can do.

So out of curiosity, is there anything in particular that people are curious about? One of the other topics that Amy brought up was about how they saved for her maternity leave. Personally, I'm really hoping that she expounds on that as it's something that B and I are likely going to have to do as well (I haven't fully worked out the details of my leave yet, but I am anticipating that the best case is part of it will be paid, but we need to prepare for the worst case that none of it will be paid. Yeah, that's going to be fun to figure out).

Tuesday, August 28, 2012

Is that thing positive?

I mentioned before that I've been writing about this pregnancy a bit here and there, and there are some posts that I do want to share. Here's how I first found out, and how I told B!

Originally written May 17, 2012

I took the first test Wednesday, May 9. I was going to the opera that night with my mom and aunt and our normal routine is to have dinner before the show at a place with a great happy hour (and tasty beer!). But something about this month felt different. I wasn't late yet, but thought that if for some reason I really was pregnant, it was at the point in time where I would probably see a positive. So when I got up that morning I went to the bathroom and waited. And waited. And for the first time since we started trying, I finally saw what I'd been waiting to see.

Two pink lines.

My first reaction was "Holy shit! That's positive!"

My second reaction was "Wait, really? It's pretty faint... maybe I'm just imagining things."

And so I went back to bed until my alarm went off and didn't say anything to B yet. I wanted to be sure. I didn't want to get his hopes up only to have my period show up the next day. But just in case I had a diet coke at dinner that night instead of my usual beer. Tried to play it off by claiming a headache but not certain either my mom or aunt really bought it... (edited to add: Apparently they totally bought it as they were both shocked when we eventually told them about the baby!)

The next morning the line was even fainter. Which made me even more confused. It was still there, so to my understanding I was pregnant. But shouldn't it be getting darker? I decided that I'd get a digital test on my way home as that should give me confirmation one way or the other. Except it didn't. When I got home after work I got a big fat "not pregnant" staring me in the face.

I couldn't keep it from B anymore, so as he was making dinner I said I had two things I had to tell him. One, my company is laying off a bunch of people, but luckily I'm not one of them. And two, I might be pregnant.

Pretty sure the look on his face was fairly priceless. I mean, seriously with the timing? And who doesn't know if they're pregnant or not? I explained why I wasn't sure yet, but that I was pretty sure I was, and told him that I was waiting until Sunday morning to use the other digital test as that should be enough time to figure out whether it was really positive or not. (Though I did cheat and use another cheap test on Saturday morning which gave me two pink lines again!)

Sunday morning was Mother's Day. I took the test and almost immediately it popped up Pregnant. Since it was 5am I left it on the sink for B to see whenever he woke up, and then crawled back into bed. He woke me up later with breakfast made and a big smile on his face. And he even had a present for me - the Mayo Clinic's Guide to a Healthy Pregnancy (LOVE this book!). We spent the afternoon with my parents where it was SO hard for me not to burst out with our news - especially when after I wished my mom a happy Mother's Day, she said the same back to me! And then said, wait, that's not right! Part of me still wished that I would have said something, but the other part wasn't ready. I needed a doctor's confirmation before I could tell anyone. Though there was no way that I was going to wait 12 weeks before spilling the beans!

But in the meantime, it was just B, myself and our little alien. Holy crap.

Friday, August 24, 2012

All the stuff that comes with babies

You know what's shockingly been a lot of fun for me so far? 

Thinking about baby stuff. Yup, we've started working on a registry already (but it's currently private so don't anyone go searching for it yet). I don't really know what (if anything) will happen in the way of a baby shower, and whatever does happen is totally fine by me. I mean, it wasn't too long ago that we got married and our friends and family were super amazing awesome with everything that they did for us for our wedding. So trust me (and I'm being serious for any of you family and real life friends who might happen to be reading this), I'm completely serious when I say that I don't expect anything, and if they do want to do something for us, well, that's just awesome and shows yet again how amazing they are.

But - back to baby stuff. First off, there's so much stuff! Second, there's so much cute stuff! Third, holy crap there's seriously SO MUCH STUFF. 

My first instinct is to just say that we don't need anything!* And from everything I've heard with respect to the newborn phase, that's kind of true. You need a car seat (can't leave the hospital without it unless you're planning on walking home, and yeah, nope). I'd like a crib as we're not planning on co-sleeping (but may plan to get something smaller for our room for the first couple of weeks). We'll need some diapers**, and some onesies and some blankets. I'm hopeful that breastfeeding will work out, but as I'll be returning to work after my maternity leave ends, we're going to eventually need some bottles. 

But all the other stuff? I'm pretty sure that it belongs solidly in the want column versus the need column (at least until I have a colicky baby on my hands who won't stop crying unless we have product X. Or so all the marketers tell me). And so I've been using our (again, still private for now) registry as more of a potential-shopping-list-to-remind-the-crazy-pregnant-lady-of-things-she-thinks-she-likes-but-will-forget-about-in-ten-minutes kind of a list. So it's got things like the carrier and stroller that I think we want, as well as a hamper for the kiddo's room and a diaper bag for me (no idea if B will want his own diaper bag, but since the one I like is fairly purse-like, I'm guessing he can figure out whatever he wants on his own). Plus some cloth diaper supplies that I'm fairly confident no one will buy (or so some friends have warned me), but I want to remember what we've liked after doing research into the subject.

If anyone is interested, I'll probably post our final decisions once we've made them (we're planning on hitting up a couple stores this weekend to start trying things out to see if we actually like all the things that I've been so carefully researching online but haven't yet touched in person yet). And even if no one is interested, well, I'll still probably post our final decisions because I care!

So how has everyone else dealt with all the stuff that comes along with babies? The other reason that I'm trying to make sure we're fairly judicious with what we ultimately get is because we have a pretty small apartment with not a ton of storage space. And I'd prefer if baby stuff doesn't take over the living room immediately (though I'm well aware that it will probably happen at some point).

*I say that because I've always been a bit of a packrack and I've tried so hard to curb those tendencies over the last couple of years. But it seems like the addition of a baby leads to a lot of stuff.

**We're planning on going the cloth diaper route. So much more to talk about with this decision later, I promise! But for a brief look into our thought process, I'm pretty sure the plan now is to use disposables for the first couple of weeks and then transition into cloth diaper usage. I like that there will be less chemicals on baby's skin and that we'll be keeping disposables out of landfills. Do I plan to never use disposables? Nope - see above with the plan to use them at the beginning. Plus if we're traveling or once kiddo starts sleeping all the way through the night and needs one for overnight, I'm all for it. But for the majority of the time, cloth is our plan.

Wednesday, August 22, 2012

A few thoughts

Now that the news is finally out there I can talk about some of the 50,000 things that I've been trying to keep quiet about over here!

First off, maternity pants. Today is my first day wearing a pair of jeans with elastic around the waist, and I have to say, I don't think I ever want to go back to dealing with buttons or zippers. Seriously. Most comfortable thing I think I've ever put on! I think some of my co-workers are amused at how I all of a sudden seem to have a baby bump when I only told them last week, but it's because I've been wearing out all of my flowy and larger tops and am now back to wearing more fitted shirts which show off the growing belly a bit more. But yes, to those of you who told me how much more comfortable maternity pants were rather than trying to stick it out longer in my last pair of fat jeans, you are correct!

Second, I've been writing some thoughts these past few months about my pregnancy thus far. Not weekly updates by any means (I'm only kinda sorta taking weekly photos. I stopped between about 8-12 weeks or so because nothing really appeared to be changing and I had a really crappy phone camera. Now that I have an iphone I'm trying to take more pictures again. But I don't always remember. Plus it seems strange to me for some reason. But more on that later), but a few thoughts about how this pregnancy has been going and other things that I've been wanting to talk about. I don't really have a plan for how I'll be posting them, but probably more or less in chronological order from when I wrote them.

But thirdly, another thing that I've been struggling with a bit is how much I want to share. I never thought that I would stop blogging completely when I had kids, but I figured that I'd be fairly protective of what I shared in this space. I mean, I don't share my full name or B's full name here, so why would I be more open about the privacy of my child? But I'm not sure yet how I feel about extending that to this pregnancy. There are definitely some things that I want to write and talk about, but I think I'm just going to have to see how it goes. I'm sure there will be baby pictures on this blog, but I doubt there will be ultrasound pictures (it seems odd to show you pictures of my insides. I'm all for people sharing what they want, but I think this is a boundary for me, personally). And while I might share our kiddo's first name in a way that I think won't be very google-able, I'm fairly positive I won't share his/her full name.

And who knows? Maybe I'll end up wanting to share more for the singular purpose of wanting to remember certain moments. I fully reserve the right to change my mind on any of this stuff!

Anyway, I'll start posting some of the things I've been mulling over in my own head, and hope that you'll stick around for the journey. And if you have zero interest in kids, well, I'm pretty sure there will still be posts on career thoughts and other random things (though sadly probably much less about wine for the next few months. I miss wine).

Friday, August 17, 2012

And a bit more good news

You can probably tell that I've been a little bit distracted over here lately, what with the not posting very much, and then when I do post it's mainly about nonsensical things. Well, I've actually had several good reasons for that.

In the first place, as I mentioned yesterday, work has been crazy for the last couple of months. But that huge project (which was actually a continuing series of big projects since about March, let's be honest) came to a final and awesome conclusion. Again, I can say more about it next week, but the upshot is that I did a major happy dance at about noon on Wednesday and since then I've felt like a big, giant weight has been lifted off my shoulders.

And second, a little something else has been going on behind the scenes over here at A Long Far View. 

Why yes, that is a 17 week baby bump, not just evidence of a few too many burritos eaten the day before.

Come January Cody's little world is going to get rocked. Poor guy. He has no idea what's about to hit him.

Enjoy life while you can you little stinker!

Wednesday, August 15, 2012

Good Day

Today was a really good day. 

1) I got some fantastic news at work about something that we've been working so hard on for the past few months (I can explain more later, but for now I just want to give a big freaking hug to the world!)

With that completed, I can now hopefully have a long overdue meeting with my boss about a couple of things, which should also go well!

2) One of my very best friends, K, got engaged over the weekend! 

She was one of my bridesmaids (and now I get to return the favor!) and I am SO excited for her! Her fiance proposed while we were all out on her dad's boat enjoying the beautiful sunny weekend we had. Congrats again you two, I'm so happy for you both!

Photos blatantly stolen from K's Facebook page. 

3) Felix Hernandez just pitched the first perfect game in Mariner's history! There have only been 23 perfect games in major league history, and it's the second one to happen at Safeco Field this year. Too cool! 

See? It's been a good day.

Wednesday, August 8, 2012


I was going through my pictures the other night as I wanted to find a new one for my FB cover photo (after all this time they finally made me switch to Timeline. So I figured I should at least embrace it and find a pretty picture). I ended up using this one (it's also up there in my header photos), as it reminds me of one of my favorite trips with B.

Maui, 2009

We went to the Big Island of Hawaii after I took the Oregon Bar Exam in 2008 and then we went to Maui after he took the same exam in 2009. Both of those trips were so much fun. Our trip in 2008 was actually the first time I'd ever gone on vacation with a boyfriend - I wasn't entirely certain how it was going to pan out, but it was so fun to discover that for the most part we travel really well together (and when I get cranky, just find me food!).

Maui was a blast because I got a vacation and didn't have to suffer through taking the bar. I would like more vacations like that please! Our first night there we sat at the bar of our hotel, drinking mai tais and eating some terrible nachos. As the sun set this guy climbed out on the cliffs to light the torches and then dove off into the water. I'm not sure the last time I felt as completely and utterly relaxed and happy as I did that night, sitting with B and talking about our future. We weren't engaged yet (that would happen just a few months later in December) and we hadn't faced some of the difficult times that we've since dealt with. I knew I wanted to spend my life with him and I feel very blessed to see where we are on that journey. Three years later I feel the same way and hope to make it back to Hawaii soon. There are so many places in the world that I want to visit, but there's something special about the first place you went to with the one you know you're going to spend your life with.

Friday, August 3, 2012


In continuing my recent tradition of only posting on Fridays, here's another random post for you.

1) Work has been insane. Seriously insane. I'm dealing with a lot of different things at work that are stressing me out right now. There SHOULD be a light at the end of the tunnel if things close the way I think they will (and that light is at least a week and a half away, but still! LIGHT! Please don't instead let it be the train coming to run me the eff over). So I'm trying to focus on that instead of how I'd like to strangle someone every time my phone rings or I get a new email.

2) I still love the Olympics. So happy for the women's gymnastics team and Gabby Douglas (who as Professor Snape pointed out on twitter has a last name that can be turned into "USA gold" similar to Lord Voldemort. Love it!). And for Missy Franklin and Rebecca Soni of the swim team (and of course Michael Phelps, but dude's got plenty of medals). And everyone else that's gone out there and kicked some ass on such a huge international stage.

3) A good friend of mine headed to London yesterday as part of her job includes her working at these Olympic games. How freaking cool is that???

4) Back to work for a moment, apparently we have new neighbors on the floor beneath our office who really enjoy blasting their music. And they'll blast anything from slasher rock to classical to just about anything in between. I feel like an old fuddy duddy but almost every day someone has to go downstairs and ask them to shut the hell up. Who thinks this is appropriate in a work environment to blast music so loudly that other offices can hear it???

5) It's the weekend. Thank god. 
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