Thursday, April 5, 2012

On being present - or the lack thereof

It's always bad when you wake up on Thursday morning SO excited for the weekend, only to realize that instead of being Friday like you thought it was, it's actually Thursday. Sigh. 

But that actually leads me to my point.

I've been feeling like we've been on the go a lot lately, and to some extent that's true (travel to see family over Christmas, in North Carolina in January for my grandmother's funeral, various activities going on at home keeping me busy, and then a wedding in Georgia last weekend). But I think the bigger issue is that in my head I haven't been very present recently. Looking too far forward or back always means I miss what's going on right now and then feel like I'm scrambling to catch up.

When I'm present, I'm able to focus on the day that it is, rather than looking forward or back. I'm pretty sure I've been doing far more dreaming about what the future might hold, and looking back at what I've done in the past than focusing on the present. After all, the past is done and the future will wait - it's only the now that we have.

Or something like that.

So today, I'm going to focus on the day that I have in front of me, and tonight when I get to spend time with some wonderful friends who I see all too rarely, I'm going to focus on the time with them instead of worrying about what's next. What's next will certainly come, but I'm tired of waking up and wondering where the past 4 months have gone. If I'm not able to pay attention now, when will I ever?

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