Thursday, April 19, 2012

Dealing with Disappointment

Do you watch Biggest Loser? I'm watching this week's episode and (spoiler alert) the contestants staged a mutiny and decided that they didn't want to play anymore because the show kept throwing twists at them. In this instance, the twist was that an eliminated player was going to have the opportunity to come back to the ranch and compete for a spot in the finals. 

First off, hello? Have any of these players ever watched the show? They do that every year. I'm pretty sure that's how Ali won (right? Wasn't she an eliminated player who came back and earned a chance to come back to the ranch?). And two, even if they haven't watched the show before, presumably they know how to read contracts that they sign. And in the agreement that they all signed (including all of the eliminated contestants), it specifically stated that the eliminated contestants would have an opportunity to come back. I'll admit, I kind of enjoyed watching the attorney explain that and then ask the contestants exactly why they were so shocked about this twist. And no one could say anything beyond "It's not fair." Life is not fair. Get over it.

I find it a little bit interesting that I'm watching this show after the day that I just had. Nothing really bad happened, but I faced yet another disappointment. And I feel like I've faced so many disappointments big and small over the last couple of years that it all just hit me. And after nearly breaking down at work over it, I came home and could barely even talk to B. Which I hate. It's not his fault. It's not my fault. But it is our situation. And things have been tough and there's no end in sight. And that's the disappointment that I've been dealing with. And I don't know how to handle it anymore. 

So while this was not the post that I had planned to write today, apparently it's the one that I needed to write. At some point I do want to have conversations here about careers and how people choose what they do, but I don't have it in me right now. Hopefully soon though.


  1. So many hugs for you, lady. We're going through the same kind of season, full of disappointments, insecurity, stress, and just flat out bad things happening (my 10 month unemployment while AC is a student and AC's parents house being arsoned is probably there on the top of the list). I'm not going to tell you to count your blessings or "be thankful!" because we've gotten a lot of that and it is just so danged annoying. And sometimes you just have to acknowledge that your life sucks. And sometimes you take it out on your partner- I got IRRATIONALLY furious at AC yesterday about something that was only 30% his fault. We'll both get through this and I'm always, always around if you need a shoulder to cry on!

    1. Thank you for this. I feel like all I'm writing about right now is disappointments, but I also feel like that's why it's hitting me so hard right now - it's been a tough couple of years, and at this point I don't know when it ends. I really appreciate your support though! Helps more than you know.

  2. I haven't watched "TBL" in a while, but this reminds me of how on "Top Chef," every season the chefs are asked to make a dessert. Unfailingly there's always one person who's all, "I'm a SAVORY chef, I can't BELIEVE they're making me do dessert, it's so unfair that other competitors get to make savory food and I have to do dessert in this challenge!"

    And I always think "how can you possibly not know that TC contestants sometimes have to make dessert? Unless you didn't watch any TC episodes before signing on. In that case, I really feel no pity for you because you could have known what you were getting into and you chose not to do your homework!"

    The difference with life is that we don't have several previous seasons to watch to prepare ourselves for the unfair twists, and there was never an opportunity to read the contract and say "nope, I'm out." Disappointment sucks. Constant disappointment over a period of years can be soul-crushing. I wish I had something useful to say, but know that you're definitely not alone.

  3. I really hope things are looking up after this post. I think sometimes the only way to get over being disappointed is acknowledging it, wallowing in it a bit and then moving on. Like closure.


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