Wednesday, November 9, 2011

Stress

So. I've been pretty stressed lately. I try not to talk about it too much as who needs to deal with other people's stressors when they probably have plenty of their own to deal with? (My husband of course is the exception to this rule. He gets to hear all about my stress. Lucky him!)


In no particular order, here's what's been going on with me and what I've been worrying about:


My upcoming surgery. (Next week. Next Thursday to be precise.) I've been under general anesthesia before, but that was when I was much younger and my mom was doing much more of the worrying, because honestly I had no idea what was going on. Now I do. And I've been told about all of the risks and everything that could possibly go wrong. Knowledge is power, yes, but it's also more to worry about. Also, did I mention they're removing an organ? That still totally weirds me out.


Money. Pretty sure money will be a stressor in my life no matter how much or how little of it we have at any given time. I think that's how I'm wired. But it still sucks and stresses me out to think about our finances.


My job and career. Lots of stuff going on here which I really can't go into detail about. Let's just say that things aren't always what they seem to be and I'm trying to figure out what the best move for me will be. I hate not knowing what to do, and not knowing what the best option is. So instead I worry about lots of different things. 


My husband's job and career. This I can control even less than my own. But still. I stress.


Christmas. I love Christmas and spending time with family. That is not what I worry about. But there are other aspects to this holiday that do stress me out ($$). Not just presents (but I hate that I can't be as generous as I want to be with the people who I love the most). But the transportation and logistical side of the holidays.


There's more. But those are the highlights. I've really been actively trying lately (and by lately I mean the past year or so) to not stress about those things that I cannot control. And I've done an ok job of that for the most part. There really is something to the whole "let it go" philosophy. But in the last couple of weeks my anxiety has shifted into overdrive on so many levels and it's been really hard for me to let it go. I know I need to. And I think some relaxing time with some of my favorite girl friends this weekend will help. As well as reminding myself that things will work out. Maybe not the way I thought they would, or the way that I originally intended, but they will work out.


But still. 


I worry.

3 comments:

  1. Yikes! I have a lot of stress too--and a lot of it is about things I can't control... hang in there!

    One thing I can tell you is that money will become less of a stress. It's good to always be concerned about it, but I bet you'll get to a point where you can feel confident that what you have is 'safe', and that'll help a lot. I know how it is to constantly have the money-fear. Yuck.

    Good luck with your surgery and everything else!!

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  2. Honestly, just writing it down helped too! (That's something that I've learned over the years - getting it down so that I can see what I'm stressed about helps me to process it).

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  3. Deep breathes. Just sending you good surgery vibes. And I totally feel your pain on stresses. I have a huge knot in my shoulder from daily stress! yikes.

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