Tuesday, March 15, 2011
I've been thinking a lot lately about this blog and what I've been writing here. For the last year it's been mainly about our wedding. And don't worry, there's a lot more wedding talk still ahead! We're supposed to be getting our pictures back in the next month and I cannot wait to see them! Plus several friends took video and once I get ahold of the footage I want to put together a few videos to capture the feel of our wedding. And there's all the other stories I haven't told yet - my bachelorette party, our mini-moon, what our plans are for a bigger honeymoon at some point... have no fear, we're definitely not done with the wedding talk yet!
But this blog was never supposed to be just a wedding blog. That's why I used a name for this blog that means something to me, rather than focusing on being a bride or planning a wedding. I wanted to use this as a platform for talking about what's going on in my life and bigger issues I'm working through at any given time, rather than a single topic blog with an expiration date. Our wedding was a huge part of my life since we got engaged in December, 2009.
But our wedding is over.
And life goes on.
And a huge question keeps looming over me - what's next?*
I don't know the answer to that question.
I don't know what comes next in terms of my career. I'm still looking for a job - right now I need a paycheck, but I'm also trying to figure out what my career passion is and how to find it.
I don't know what comes next for my family. B and I are living happily in the city that we want to raise our kids in someday, but if we aren't having kids for a few years, do we want to move somewhere else if the opportunity arises? Or do we put roots down for good here?
I don't know what comes next for my dreams. I want to spend an extended period traveling the Caribbean on a boat. I want to spend time in Europe with B - showing him my favorite places and finding new favorites together. I want to buy a house. I want to ride horses again. How do I get myself to a place where I can make these happen?
I clearly don't know what comes next for a lot of areas in my life - but I know I need to start being proactive rather than passively waiting for life to give me a sign. I've never really believed in signs but I recently realized that I was waiting for the universe to point me in the right direction.
I'm done with waiting - it's up to me to figure out the direction of my life and where I want it to go. I'm starting this journey doing what I know best - researching. I'm planning on sharing more about what I find out and where my life goes, and if anyone out there is struggling with these same issues I'd love to find out what you're doing about it! Nothing worth doing comes easily, but nothing will happen at all if I don't start now.
*I am a HUGE fan of the West Wing. Every couple of years I get the urge to go back and rewatch the series. During my most recent re-viewing, I realized yet again how much I loved that the President would always ask this question. I might not know the answer, but I'm working on it!