I lost an earring the other day. It wasn't an expensive earring or one to which I had attached much sentimental value. It hadn't been a special present or worn on any one particularly memorable occasion. But it was one of my favorite pairs and now half of it is missing.
Why do you, my friends and fellow wedding planners care? Because this small disappointment has stuck with me the past few days. Reappeared when I've reached for those earrings. And it's those small disappointments which have happened during wedding planning that tend to stick with me, too. I haven't had too many big disappointments during this process, and those that have happened I've been able to get over pretty quickly. But the smaller ones that shouldn't really matter? For some reason those have been harder to completely move on from.
You know, how your favorite flowers aren't in season because you picked a winter wedding. Or your good friends who won't be able to come because they are pregnant, or attending another friend's wedding that weekend. Or because it's simply too expensive to travel that far. It's never a simple emotion or feeling, but these have been some of the little disappointments that I've faced while planning our wedding.
I think one of the reasons these little disappointments have stuck with me is because, paradoxically, in the grand scheme of things they shouldn't matter. I'm still getting married to my best friend. Many family members and friends I haven't seen in too long will be able to come. I will still carry beautiful flowers even if they won't be a lush bouquet of peonies or sunflowers like I would have carried in a summer wedding. There will be good food and good drinks and laughter and music and celebration. Little disappointments will not overshadow our wedding or the days leading up to it.
But in the meantime, those little disappointments remain. In the background, waiting to pop up again when you least expect it. Just like when I reached for the citron teardrop earrings only to be reminded yet again that I only have one of them now rather than the pair.