Monday, May 10, 2010

Do You Like What You Do?

I don't. And it makes me sad and depressed right now, especially because when I was in school preparing for what I am now doing, I was really good at it. And I always thought that I would really like and be challenged by this job. It seemed to play to a lot of my strengths. But instead it makes me anxious, depressed, terrified that I'm doing it wrong... well, I could go on, but I think you get the idea. (And the terrified is not in the good way where you're scared about what you're doing, but you're really excited at the same time and you just keep going and do it. No, this is the "paralyzed in one spot because every way I look I feel like I'll screw up terrified." Not a fun feeling.)

So my question is, do you like what you do? And if you do, how did you get there? Did you always know that you were going to like it? Did you fall into it one day and realize this was what you wanted? Are you still looking for it like I am? Anyone want to hire me? (Haha, just kidding. Sort of.) I think my biggest problem right now is feeling like I have spent my whole life training to get to this job and now that I don't like it I have NO idea what I want to do. Well, that isn't exactly true. It's more that I have no idea what I want to do that I feel I am qualified for that will also pay me enough to cover the student loans to get me to this point.

B has been pretty great with all this and has given me a ton of great pointers to look at to help with the process of figuring out what I do what to do. And I haven't looked at any of them. Because I'm scared that I won't ever find what it is that makes me passionate about getting up every day. Does that make sense all? I've been feeling stuck for quite some time without knowing how to get out. So my new goal is to take the next several months and figure it out. Either figure out how to like my current job or find something else. I do have a couple specific steps and I have a specific date by which I'd like to have made a decision. I'm not sure where I'll end up, but at this point anything is better than how I'm feeling now. And I've been reading too many stories about people who have just recently been able to make a move into the area that they are passionate about. So here is to taking the summer to rediscovering my passion and figuring out how to be happy. I'll keep you posted on how it goes!

4 comments:

  1. I know that a lot of people won't agree with this but I'll say it anyways. I think there is always a good chance that people will never find their passion - in the work world. I don't think there exists a requirement to be passionate about what you do for a living. However, with that said, I believe that everyone should find a passion for something. And that passion can be something unrelated to work or making a living. For example, some people have a passion for traveling. So they work to make money to pursue that. I hope that makes sense. I think having this prospective has given me less pressure and agony when thinking about my career. <3, n

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  2. To a big extent I really agree with your point. Especially anecdotally as I've had these conversations with people. But at the same time, I do like to think that there's a way to find a passion and have it also support you. I think my main goal right now is quite honestly two separate things - a passion that does fulfill me (which will probably be outside of my career), and a career that doesn't feel like it's killing me. No, I don't think my current career is killing me, but I also think that even if I don't love it, I need to at least like my job.

    Not sure how eloquently I'm stating any of this, but another blog I like for her perspective on things had an interesting view as to her career: http://oooooohshiny.blogspot.com/2010/04/is-powerball-jackpot-winner-career-path.html

    If only winning the lottery was a valid career move :) Though I suppose I actually have to play before I can ever win...

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  3. Hmm, I just wrote out a nice reply and blogger appears to have eaten it. Lame. Anyway, the gist of it was that I agree with your premise, but I do like to hold out hope that one day I can be passionate about what also supports my family. But I do think that right now my goal is two separate things: first, to rekindle my passion for certain things that have fallen by the wayside for too long, and second, to be ok with my job. As I'm learning, I may not have to love it, but I do need to like it. The cost is too high for me otherwise (pretty sure that's why my blood pressure has been so high lately).

    Another blogger I read wrote a post about her career a little while back and I really appreciate what she had to say about it: http://oooooohshiny.blogspot.com/2010/04/is-powerball-jackpot-winner-career-path.html

    If only winning the lottery was a valid career move... though if I want to win I probably need to buy a ticket first :)

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  4. I forgot to add that my passion is to make it rain. hard.

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